Thought I'd take a few moments to capture some of the thoughts running through my head tonight - our last night as a family of three. Tomorrow is the big day - the day our daughter arrives. It's amazing to me the variety of emotions we humans have the capacity to feel at the same time. You wonder just how that's possible.
First off, I'm so very excited to meet her. I can't wait to see what she looks like, can't wait to hold her, can't wait to hear her tiny little cries. I can't wait to see my husband hold his baby girl in his arms for the very first time. I can't wait to watch him get wrapped around her tiny little finger. Even more so, I can't wait for Matthew to meet her. I can't wait to see his reaction to her. We've had an amazing two weeks together at home, and we've been talking about her a lot. It seems like this week he's really begun to understand that she's coming, for real, and that she'll be part of our family. Just today, he told me he's going to give her a kiss on the head and on the nose. I can't wait to see if he really does that.
And yet, amidst all this excitement, I can't help but feel a little bit sad. Sad to think that some of the attention he's used to getting will now be shared. I worry that he'll somehow feel less loved, and that thought just breaks my heart. I am determined that I will not let that happen. When I first found out I was pregnant this time, after being completely overjoyed, I felt this same twinge of sadness. I wondered how it would be possible to love another baby as much as I love Matthew. But, I quickly came to realize that it would be easier than anything I'd ever done in my life. Your heart and your love just grow. I know this without her even being here yet. And I also know that the joy he'll experience from having a sibling will far outweigh anything else he'll feel. I just need to make myself focus on that thought and help him to find that joy.
My deepest hope for tomorrow is that he is as excited as we are to meet her, and that he really feels like giving her those kisses on her head and nose. He's been calling her "My Gabby" for the last few days, and I hope he really feels that way when she's finally here.
Love you, my little man, and can't wait to meet you, my little girl.
~ Mommy
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4 comments:
I felt that same joy and sadness. My heart aches for that weekend before my baby boy was born. What a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
You're right on - your love grows and so will Matthew's.
Love you guys.
We are very happy for you guys and I am excited to compare stories with Dennis about our daughters! Congratulations!
Seeing Dennis hold his baby girl was just so sweet. I remember Chris holding Ella like that--the gazing, the touching of the tiny feet and hands--BEAUTIFUL. They love them so deeply, so completely--as they do their sons, but it is a different and more protective love--right from the get go. Congratulations, Kimmy. Oh, and you looked positively RADIANT yesterday.
Then they turn 12............
Just kidding.
I am so happy to have been a part of this all and to be able to capture some of what you've described, in photos.
Much love to you, Dennis, Matthew and your new little Gabriella.
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